Female Stress Diet

Female Stress Diet

. t: |# c  x" I: N0 |                                        This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope

with the stress that builds up during the day:
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% S0 A& t' G* S1 rBREAKFAST:
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1 grapefruit
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) y* U8 U+ |' ^& M# H& ^1 slice whole wheat toast

  {' A4 I, p% q: N: t) C) s1 cup skim milk

LUNCH

Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a
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cup of spinach
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4 Y4 z& C4 I/ t" V' q( d1 cup herbal tea
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9 [0 R2 F) m0 x( O. ^0 @) n/ N1 chocolate biscuit
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AFTERNOON TEA
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The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet

1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping

( _: |9 q' ]8 t: W( {. L1 jar nutella
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DINNER

7 u& s( K% T9 h9 a8 E% u. |) s4 bottles of red wine
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/ E; ~/ d% _; U6 C1 T( d, d2 loaves garlic bread
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: V, \3 A  \9 F2 ^* u% ?1 family size supreme pizza

3 Z% o7 [& U  U5 S$ M! pLATE NIGHT SNACK
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  B# ~: e7 k# I% V( r6 bWhole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten

$ ]  o. A! B7 m( ^  p- |/ _directly from freezer)
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6 c# }* J7 N- u% ODIET RULES:

1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

- H. v, G. s) P, w4 l6 o/ J2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the
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chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.
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3. When you eat with someone else, calories
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3 e& N& J( M# h4 V, ~5 Pdon't count if you do not eat more than they do.
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4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:

" j' L/ X' g% D. U3 j7 j  s. s+ ^chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

5. If you fatten up the people around you,

you will look thinner.
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4 S7 D2 K0 i( Z' ?- i0 I4 o6 d6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part
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+ Y1 K# e( W5 _' ^" ~$ I$ Yof the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.
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4 T+ O  `. G0 D(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)

( W% Z# V( G  B# f1 z/ f7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up

3 i. X# o2 x! B. _7 Gcauses calorie leakage.
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8. Food licked from knives and spoons has
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4 v3 \7 F" i) K- Z. a& }3 I; tno fat if you are in the process of cooking something.

9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.
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* l7 \* y. j. g" F. h$ ?' x, bExamples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.
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10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard
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/ A* h  J% C9 ?" J+ i! r: ~and may be substituted for any other colour.

0 k) h( O0 x* Z8 l" I$ D7 o11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity
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and the density of calorie mass.

12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it

: p' M$ G: Y# n) r# `% g, Orightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.
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! E/ V+ |2 n* C7 i2 f- gAnd remember:

STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS