自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 1 d: ?! E+ g- J7 m9 M9 `1 W
Because of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ...
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Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.
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學員改寫:0 @, W4 |$ w3 }+ P
what baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car., ~- y' v$ S0 H- E, t/ @- M
4 C, a! j* T7 y6 i- k0 r' e這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長
4 R5 d* Z: l6 i4 h) Y* SA can keep B from doing C7 {2 A6 _ L- n) J+ d+ l4 Y- e" t
A = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head. y7 j) T# W3 z/ w
B = the baby's head5 F, m+ I' X% B1 ]& a7 q* l. ?
doing C = rolling around during transport w4 L6 L. H1 D, ~
2 b: j7 ~4 }4 k% B+ i但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫! `' Z7 }; w% S; N1 l5 @- s
What we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.
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這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。1 O+ M! `: Q4 p2 x4 a* L0 `3 Y
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