自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 5 z( a7 ^3 @) C' w h1 ]
Because of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ... & i; k P R" i) H* k9 f- h
原文:
4 T' l+ i! Q1 zHaving baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.2 ?, n; m; k% W- F
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學員改寫:/ Z. ^$ j. l* y9 z! {+ K! ]4 R
what baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car.
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9 p" g, D+ k, E# ^# Y這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長
1 y1 e! i" S% I7 DA can keep B from doing C o }! ?. b) y
A = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head
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, a4 }, q, b6 B2 F/ ~doing C = rolling around during transport
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1 ]8 S3 W( y. H0 r; Q+ l( x$ h但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫( r. t* u J9 D1 k& |6 a
What we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.
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這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。
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