自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 
2 E8 A6 X! V/ ZBecause of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ...
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Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.- E/ }! I, `- T* _* O
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學員改寫:- I6 L9 V# l: E% v
what baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car.6 i# t2 ]8 h4 ^. `; Z
9 u# v; B2 Z0 ]( d' q這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長4 P0 P* c2 c: z' O" k
A can keep B from doing C" ~0 u: I8 p4 E9 S
A = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head% s8 G5 i* `5 h
B = the baby's head. _/ ~6 H: ]' `6 m) d
doing C = rolling around during transport7 d8 b5 F3 t1 ^2 V" {% ~9 d% n& o
1 s0 C6 J6 Y% e, e# @9 B但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫
, Z! q2 w. ^9 }5 A. b1 O4 oWhat we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.6 p( i) x8 |$ | a$ j
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這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。
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