自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 
% p4 J. ~6 P, ?/ c; }2 MBecause of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ...
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Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.
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學員改寫:9 [# j( \6 V' m) r% _0 x) h8 a
what baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car.: }4 ~: Z7 u0 x. Y- D0 o
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這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長
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A = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head
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, k' |) X0 c% [# N5 f# z( ~但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫
3 r8 d/ K6 W& n# l* j3 {# K3 [' W4 }$ @What we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.
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這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。
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