自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 
: t- B. U$ a9 c2 d/ s5 W+ q* D0 e, q& B5 xBecause of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ...
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( e8 j( s+ l6 K8 JHaving baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.
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6 A: H$ g9 P8 C7 o, c學員改寫:9 w. ?$ r% ^+ | [
what baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car.
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! _" R# a& r( G9 ^. F: u這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長
o1 t( | Y5 E* a( Z: IA can keep B from doing C+ F4 y1 j! W! ]3 u
A = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head$ a5 B L! g9 E2 _8 ~5 c( P8 W
B = the baby's head
! v3 {1 \1 m wdoing C = rolling around during transport
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+ _4 q I1 Y0 @- K6 r但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫5 {2 K3 ]7 l" w- y
What we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.
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這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。
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