自由之路 發表於 2013-10-29 22:42 
5 T- [- b; p: ~/ eBecause of their size which are tiny, in any spaces which is small, what baby support cushions have ... 5 I" Z. T4 @+ J! _: S& v9 B2 _# c
原文:6 C! b0 j0 J# \, ^* B$ d
Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head can keep the baby's head from rolling around during transport.
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3 f5 W0 Y, i, [# y學員改寫:
% k6 K9 P$ O4 Y' ?0 M- @7 Dwhat baby support cushions have is cradle the body while supporting effectively for the baby head can keep your baby's head safe from rolling around during transport in your car.3 B; x8 p. |9 C$ D, A, c
2 S- V3 ]9 k g, U6 W( b+ W這裡屬於原文稍微難一點,因為較長: d9 X8 ^7 m, w+ `7 h) x8 {
A can keep B from doing C
5 a5 ?5 P* \/ {) C1 [/ E; HA = Having baby support cushions that cradle the body while supporting the head
* X1 S, C, i+ z& }: mB = the baby's head1 H; D% e8 [1 |# I! z* a ^: w" R
doing C = rolling around during transport- {& C" V& c8 e& E& Z. [
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但是學員思路是挺好的,我們繼續按照此思路改寫) N4 B, m7 h. N: w' Z7 `
What we have is the baby support cushions cradling the body that can keep the baby's head from rolling around by supporting it during transport.
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( B1 x5 p' ~5 B( p- j這裡的改寫方法都是樂樂改寫中提到的,這樣改出的句子,可讀性可以和原文對照,基本是一致的,但更核心問題是 樂樂改寫方法,保護了文章內最要的東西,也就是很多自己改寫時候忽略掉的。。。
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