Female Stress Diet

Female Stress Diet
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                                        This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope

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2 h8 b/ Z8 G2 n4 w7 r' C& E9 iBREAKFAST:

5 v' {2 [9 z" ^8 m( z1 grapefruit

  U0 m& `& n! `9 o/ u1 slice whole wheat toast

: B& H; f% z. j3 l/ l4 K) a1 cup skim milk
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LUNCH
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Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a

cup of spinach

1 cup herbal tea

4 d7 [& t+ Y; h2 n1 chocolate biscuit

  j# c0 o& c: ]7 k$ S7 @  dAFTERNOON TEA

The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet

1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping

& N6 m. k1 }: w, }" ^+ }1 jar nutella

; \' }& E3 a! j! ?1 W# iDINNER

4 bottles of red wine

2 loaves garlic bread
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1 family size supreme pizza

LATE NIGHT SNACK
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3 r1 [4 f+ u4 H( ?4 g2 Q4 MWhole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten
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directly from freezer)
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DIET RULES:

2 g1 c$ C6 F3 P1 h1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

9 t- ~/ X5 D9 K2 m: R2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the
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chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.

" l% E  M8 J  w* P0 L3 {' I3. When you eat with someone else, calories
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don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
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3 u: ?# Y! C0 E. g& B4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:
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chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

2 \# q$ A, g8 H5. If you fatten up the people around you,
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8 i$ Z8 E6 X' {) o* f& Oyou will look thinner.

6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part
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& s  s" {' Z$ [- m- U  x2 k4 Rof the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.
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9 F! L. @; Z$ Y(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)
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! p0 f5 y; d# A; n7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up
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causes calorie leakage.

( \% v3 U  K! n: _8. Food licked from knives and spoons has
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no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.

2 n$ D0 y5 n. y( t9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.
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Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.
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10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard

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11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity

and the density of calorie mass.
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& n* i1 C, a4 z1 J1 s4 V12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it
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rightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.

0 Y: `, x5 V0 T+ B2 H. VAnd remember:
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STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS